How and Why You Should Stop Complaining

How and Why You Should Stop Complaining Stress Management Management Techniques Print How and Why You Should Stop Complaining By Elizabeth Scott, MS twitter Elizabeth Scott, MS, is a wellness coach specializing in stress management and quality of life, and the author of 8 Keys to Stress Management. Learn about our editorial policy Elizabeth Scott, MS Updated on October 07, 2019 Liderina/istock More in Stress Management Management Techniques Physical Techniques Relaxation Time Management Effects on Health Situational Stress Job Stress Household Stress Relationship Stress It’s probably not realistic to decide to never complain again, but try challenging yourself to stop for several weeks and then maintain a much less complaint-ridden existence thereafter. Do You Complain Too Much? It’s not that most people sit around all day pointing out the negative in lifeâ€"far from it. Most of us may even actively seek to notice and talk about everything we have to be thankful for in life. We may even frequently share special moments with loved ones, follow our passions in life, write about gratitude in a journal, or engage in other positive activities. But, we still find ourselves complaining more than we need toâ€"and more than is healthy.   Most of us do need to vent frustrations from time to time and,  hopefully, this is done in the context of brainstorming solutions. We need to talk to loved ones about feelings, both positive and negative. We need to seek the opinions of those we trust when facing difficult choices or situations. And this can be positive, but it can also often involve sharing stories about problems. Sometimes that slips into excessive complaining or gossipâ€"and that can be a slippery slope. Why Complaining Feels Good and When We Need to Stop Strategies to Become More Positive If this rings true to you and you would like to renew your commitment to keeping things as positive as they can be, the following plan to minimize complaining and maximize optimism can work well for you. As you focus more on minimizing your complaining and maximizing your gratitude and excitement about life, you will likely feel a difference in your stress levels and your level of overall life satisfaction. The first step is to become aware when you are complaining too much or slipping into rumination. The next step is to try something new. The following proven strategies can help: Thought-stopping.  This is a technique that many therapists recommend for a variety of issues  because it works well. When an undesirable thought enters your head, you literally interrupt it with the mental image of a stop sign or the word “stop!” and move on to a different thought.Journaling.  Writing in a journal brings many health and wellness-related benefits. The trick to effective journaling is to write about the problem and your feelings about it  and then brainstorm solutions and see the positives in your situation.Seeking support. Social support is a great stress reliever, and if youre lucky, you have some very supportive and wise people in your life to talk to when youre down. Instead of complaining to them, laugh with them. If you face a bigger challenge, tell them how youre feeling, get their thoughts (and maybe a hug), and then move on to happier topics. No complaining necessary.Remaining grateful.  Counting my blessings is one of my favorite ways to get out of a bad mood or switch my focus away from the annoying things in life. And it’s hard to complain when you’re thinking about how lucky you are. Taking action.  The urge to complain comes from a dissatisfaction with something that’s going on in one’s life (often coupled with a feeling of inability to change it). Complaints can be a signal that action is needed. So, the next time you feel like complaining, instead focus on what you can do to change your circumstancesâ€"and then (if possible) do it.Cultivating optimism.  It’s much easier to drop negative habits by replacing them with positive ones. (In fact, many experts say that this is the only effective way to do it!) Replacing negative thoughts and words with optimistic ones brings so many benefits. It’s worth trying, even if you’re not planning on giving up complaining anytime soon. A Word From Verywell Others will notice and comment if you make significant changes in reducing complaining and maximizing the positive. Ultimately, your life is what you make it and these strategies can help you make it more serene.